Guest post by Summit Upper School Counselor Devon Davis
I have lost count of the number of times a parent has said to me, “He just doesn’t care.” Usually the parent is referring to an adolescent male who has decided, consciously or not, that there will be no effort forthcoming. In the hopes I could come up with some better answers, I read Leonard Sax’s book entitled, Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men. I have very briefly summarized each of Cox’s factors below, but would recommend his book to gain depth as I am sure I have not done it justice!
Factor One:
The first factor involved the timeline of brain development and how that translates into today’s schooling expectations. Students are expected to graduate from kindergarten knowing how to read. This isn’t a huge issue for most girls, considering that the language areas of their brains are ready for this. However, the language area of a five-year-old boy’s brain is at the same level as that of a 3 1/2 year old girl’s. Can you imagine how frustrating it would be to teach a 3 1/2 year old girl to read? Remember that poster, “Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten?” I wonder if the lesson our little boys are receiving is that school is frustrating, exasperating, and near impossible. Where is the motivation in that?
What can you do?
First and foremost, be aware of the type of school your child is going to and the goals of the classroom. Does the curriculum emphasize knowing how to read by February of the kindergarten year? Perhaps that’s not the right school for your son. Does your son have a chance to play during the day? Does he get to truly experience learning, and not just learn about abstract items in a book? Cox also touts the benefits of single-sex classrooms, which include shifting the school culture to one in which it’s cool to study, academic competition is expected, and physically experiencing learning is the norm.
Factor Two:
Nietzsche refers to something called “will to power,” which anyone who has raised a toddler would understand. Individuals want to be in charge of their environments. Video games fulfill this need for teenagers. This isn’t bad in and of itself, but it can be addictive. Boys who spend multiple hours on a weekly basis playing violent video games in particular are at a greatly increased risk of disengaging from the real world. And THAT is bad.
What can you do?
Create alternatives to video games that are more exciting and more real. Cox mentions as an example a solution to illegal street racing. Legal street racing! Take your son for shooting lessons. Sign him up for football. Start going on camping trips. Offer him real experiences to fulfill his will to power.
Factor Three:
A study at Harvard Medical School of stimulant medications in juvenile laboratory animals showed damage to an area of the developing brain called the nucleus accumbens. The nucleus accumbens, incidentally, is the part of the brain responsible for translating motivation into action. The risks of ADHD medication on an adolescent human’s nucleus accumbens have not been proven (nor disproven). I would guess it is hard to find parents willing to submit their children for testing!
What can you do?
Understand that both normal children and ADHD children respond to stimulant medications. Trying out a medication with the belief that if it works, your child must have had ADHD and if it doesn’t, he didn’t, is based on erroneous information. Stimulant medications help everyone focus. Educate yourself on the official criteria for diagnosing ADHD from the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 4th Edition. A child must meet all five of the following criteria to be diagnosed as having ADHD:
+Hyperactivity/impulsivity or inattention
+ Onset before seven years of age. The problems must have been severe enough to cause significant impairment before the age of seven.
+ Multiple settings. Not just one or two!
+ Significant impairment in social or academic functioning.
+ Not attributable to another disorder.
If your son does meet these criteria, and you are considering medication, start with a non-stimulant medication such as Strattera or Wellbutrin and hold the stimulant medication in reserve.
Factor Four:
There has been a recent push to get rid of phtalates in plastic bottles, and everyone has been encouraged to purchase drink bottles that are bisphenol A (BPA) free. This is due to studies showing that low levels of BPA irreversibly disrupt brain development in laboratory animals. The area of the brain disrupted involved memory and motivation. Interestingly, male laboratory animals were affected more dramatically than were females.
What can you do?
The more people who insist that big companies like Coke and Pepsi use environmentally friendly Polylactic acid (PLA) “plastic” bottles, the more likely they are to do so. PLA is made from corn and does not have the harmful effects of the regular plastic we are used to. The technology is out there, but the companies are not feeling the pressure to change yet!
Factor 5:
The lack of positive male role models is a serious problem in today’s culture. We went from the Cosby Show, where Cliff Huxtable was a hard-working father who had deep conversations with his children and respected his wife, to the Simpsons, where Homer is, well, a moron. Listen to the radio, turn on the television, or read popular teen books right now. If you find a positive male role model in any of those venues, is he a real person or a superhero? Does he live in today’s world or is he a science fiction character? It is crucial to surround our boys with REAL positive male role models.
What can you do?
Cox states that “to become a man, a boy must see a man.” Help arrange all-male groups in your community for weekend retreats or monthly meetings. Give your son the opportunity to gain wisdom from men older than he. Find any opportunity for your son to interact with grown men like Boy Scouts, year-round competitive sports, outdoor nature conservancy organizations, skeet-shooting club, wherever!
Check out the website boysadrift.com for more information.
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